How to Support Family and Friends Through Grief: What Really Helps

Aug 5

Grief is a natural, necessary process—but when someone we love is hurting, it’s hard to know what to do. We want to help. We want to say the right thing. We want to fix it.

But here’s the truth: grief isn’t something we can solve. It’s something we walk beside.

At Psych Collective, we often hear from people who feel helpless when a friend or family member is grieving. They wonder, “Am I doing enough? Am I saying the wrong thing?” The good news is that you don’t need the perfect words. What matters most is how you show up—with patience, empathy, and a willingness to meet someone where they are.

Below, we’ll explore why support during grief is so important, what actually helps, and how you can be a grounding presence for someone navigating loss.

Why Support Matters

Grief can be incredibly isolating. While the world keeps turning, a grieving person often feels like theirs has stopped. Even if they’re surrounded by people, they may feel alone in their experience.

Having just one steady, compassionate person can make a huge difference. Support doesn’t take the pain away, but it helps carry the weight. When someone feels seen and accepted in their grief, they’re more likely to move through it with less shame and more resilience.

What Support Isn’t

Before we explore what helps, let’s name what doesn’t.

Support isn’t:

Trying to cheer someone up
Offering clichés like “Everything happens for a reason”
Rushing them to feel better or “move on”
Comparing their loss to your own experience

Even well-meaning words can sometimes feel minimizing. The goal isn’t to take the pain away—it’s to say, “I’m here, and you don’t have to carry this alone.”

What Support Looks Like

Here are some real, meaningful ways to support a grieving loved one:

1. Just Be There

You don’t need to talk them out of their sadness. Your presence alone—whether it’s sitting in silence, offering a hug, or being nearby—can be incredibly healing.

You might say:

“I don’t have the right words, but I’m here with you.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”

2. Offer Practical Help

Grief can make even the simplest tasks overwhelming. Offering specific, tangible support can be more helpful than asking an open-ended, “Let me know if you need anything.”

Try:

“Can I drop off dinner this week?”
“I’m free to take the kids on Saturday if you need rest.”
“I’ll be at the store—can I grab you anything?”

3. Keep Showing Up

Often, support fades after the first few weeks. But grief lingers—and anniversaries, holidays, and quiet moments can bring fresh waves of sadness. Continue checking in well after the initial loss.

A simple “Thinking of you today” message can mean everything.

4. Hold Space for Their Process

Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Don’t expect someone to “be over it” by a certain point. Allow them to feel what they feel, even if it’s uncomfortable to witness.

Statements like:

“It’s okay to feel that way.”
“There’s no rush—you get to grieve in your own time.”

These create space for healing, not pressure to perform.

5. Honor the Person Who Was Lost

Saying their name. Sharing stories. Celebrating memories. These acts can validate the importance of the relationship and affirm that their life still matters.

You might say:

“I was thinking about how much they loved [favorite memory].”
“Their laugh always stayed with me—I miss it too.”

When to Suggest More Support

If your loved one seems stuck in overwhelming grief, is withdrawing from life completely, or expresses hopelessness, it might be time to gently suggest talking to a professional.

Try:

“I wonder if it might feel good to talk to someone who understands grief.”
“Would you want help finding a therapist when you’re ready?”

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” the grief—it’s about creating a space where all of it can exist and be processed safely.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Have the Perfect Words

Grief is sacred. It’s messy, unpredictable, and unique to each person. The most powerful gift you can offer someone who is grieving is your steady, nonjudgmental presence.

Even when you don’t know what to say—even when you feel unsure—remember this: your care, your willingness to sit in the discomfort, and your continued presence mean more than any perfectly crafted words ever could.

If you or someone you care about is navigating a loss, our therapists at Psych Collective are here to support you. We offer a compassionate space to explore grief at your own pace. www.psychcollective.net to book a free consultation or learn more about how we can help.